For most couples, it starts at the wedding reception – or maybe even before.
Auntie Mathilda, the one who still loves to squeeze your cheeks and call you “her chubby little princess,” walks up to the bridal table and says, “So! When are you two going to start a family?”
Whether through Auntie Mathilda’s influence or whether because you’ve already decided you want to start right away, you know it’s time to start. If you’re like most couples, though, you haven’t given much thought to the actual act. (That is, you’ve probably thought a lot about “the act,” but not in the context of making a baby.)
When Sex Becomes the Baby Dance
So you’ve decided to have a baby, and you’re ready to move forward full thrust (pun intended). It’s time to learn how to do the baby dance! Baby-making sex can be a lot like regular sex, if you let it; it can also become a drag (believe it or not, it’s true.)
Here’s the most important thing you need to know about doing the baby dance:
You Have to Get the Timing Right.
The best time to get pregnant is on the day you ovulate and the five days leading up to ovulation. This is critical. You need to count the days right in order to get pregnant.
Most women ovulate 14 days prior to their next period. While you may not have a crystal ball to tell the future, you do have your experience to guide you here. If your cycle is always exactly 28 days (almost never happens, but let’s just assume for a moment) you’ll be fertile between day 9 and day 15 after your period. If your cycle is usually 32 days, you’ll be fertile between day 13 and day 19.
If your cycle is irregular, you’re going to have to do some guesswork, and that can be frustrating. If you try for a couple of months and still aren’t pregnant, there are ways to pinpoint when you ovulate. You can track your basal body temperature, record changes to your cervical mucus (yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like) and you can even use ovulation prediction test strips. Some women want to really nail it down, so they use all three.
Now, here’s the other thing you need to know about doing the baby dance:
Procreative Sex Doesn’t Have To Be Boring!
There’s no research that suggests missionary position sex is better than man-behind kneeling sex, for example. (Although some research suggests woman-on-top might cause gravity to work against you.) Do watch out for lubricants that might have spermicide or interfere with the journey of the sperm, and consider lubricants that are known to be sperm-friendly.
Other than that, keep sex as pleasurable as it was before. Focus on pleasing each other, and forget for a while about why you’re doing it and just live in the moment. After all, you’re trying to make a baby together. It’s about your relationship and what you want your family to be.
- License: Creative Commons image source
Vickie and Steve Barnes created BabyHopes.com to give advice, information and encouragement to couples trying to conceive. BabyHopes.com offers a full line of conception aids, too, including ovulation testing and tracking supplies and sperm-friendly lubricants.